Scale: Friend or Enemy?
The scale! It's either your best friend or your worst enemy. Initially, when I first started losing weight, it was amazing. I saw results constantly, I saw numbers I had never seen before. Then the numbers quit moving and I was determined to make them move again. I won't mention numbers, but know that the number I wanted to see wasn't a healthy one. The number I was at, was actually healthy.
The scale destroyed me, so I destroyed mine! I quite literally, took a hammer to it and shattered it! I've avoided any scales ever since, at the doctor's office I'll turn my back or if it isn't necessary that I get weighed I'll ask not to be. But this evening, before I could turn around, before I thought it through, I looked! I saw a number and instantly hated myself. I saw a number and it made me want to instantly not eat and go workout. I saw a number and I didn't care that I have to use modifications to workout, I didn't care that I have been eating a little more, in that moment, I wanted to run, I wanted to workout, I wanted to skip a meal. Did I skip dinner? No. Did I want to? Yes! Did I work out? No! I'm not feeling 100% and I know my body needs rest. But that number is still in my mind, hours later. I'll see that number when I look at food or when I want a treat. I'll see that number and tell myself no. This is how my mind works right now. This is why I can't look at the scale.
I've been reminding myself all evening that the scale is just a number. That it was later in the day so that's an easy pound or two. That I had on clothes, that my purse was hanging on my shoulder, and my phone was in it, etc. Why? Because the scale is just a number. But I let that number control me! The scale is just measuring gravity at that particular moment. Muscle weighs more than fat. I've been lifting small weights since I'm still unable to run or do much exercising. Inches you'll lose but muscle weighs something. My clothes still fit. I haven't went up a size. But the scale says I've gained 10 pounds since the last time I stepped on a scale. It's devastating to me. It makes me want to take about 10 steps backwards in any progress I've made because of one number. The number will always change. Even when I maintained my initial goal weight (the healthy one) it still fluctuated.
You can't base progress on a number! You can't! It's what gravity determines your body weighs in that moment in time. It will change. It will be different later. I'll continue to eat healthy. I'll continue to exercise when I'm able, I'll continue to keep moving forward. But I also know days like today will happen. There will be setbacks. I knew the journey wouldn't be easy. It's also a reminder to me that the scale and I can't be friends!
The scale destroyed me, so I destroyed mine! I quite literally, took a hammer to it and shattered it! I've avoided any scales ever since, at the doctor's office I'll turn my back or if it isn't necessary that I get weighed I'll ask not to be. But this evening, before I could turn around, before I thought it through, I looked! I saw a number and instantly hated myself. I saw a number and it made me want to instantly not eat and go workout. I saw a number and I didn't care that I have to use modifications to workout, I didn't care that I have been eating a little more, in that moment, I wanted to run, I wanted to workout, I wanted to skip a meal. Did I skip dinner? No. Did I want to? Yes! Did I work out? No! I'm not feeling 100% and I know my body needs rest. But that number is still in my mind, hours later. I'll see that number when I look at food or when I want a treat. I'll see that number and tell myself no. This is how my mind works right now. This is why I can't look at the scale.
I've been reminding myself all evening that the scale is just a number. That it was later in the day so that's an easy pound or two. That I had on clothes, that my purse was hanging on my shoulder, and my phone was in it, etc. Why? Because the scale is just a number. But I let that number control me! The scale is just measuring gravity at that particular moment. Muscle weighs more than fat. I've been lifting small weights since I'm still unable to run or do much exercising. Inches you'll lose but muscle weighs something. My clothes still fit. I haven't went up a size. But the scale says I've gained 10 pounds since the last time I stepped on a scale. It's devastating to me. It makes me want to take about 10 steps backwards in any progress I've made because of one number. The number will always change. Even when I maintained my initial goal weight (the healthy one) it still fluctuated.
You can't base progress on a number! You can't! It's what gravity determines your body weighs in that moment in time. It will change. It will be different later. I'll continue to eat healthy. I'll continue to exercise when I'm able, I'll continue to keep moving forward. But I also know days like today will happen. There will be setbacks. I knew the journey wouldn't be easy. It's also a reminder to me that the scale and I can't be friends!
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