Vacation & Food : Stress & Baby Steps

Most people use vacation as a time to eat what they want, or to at least splurge a little bit.  Vacations also usually mean a lot of eating out! All of this is still a struggle for me.  I did give in and ate a fried Snickers at the fair.  I knew it'd hurt (all the gluten) but it was always my thing, it's always been my fair food.  And I knew I had walked around the fairgrounds and "could" eat it.  This, this thought is part of how I know I'm not there yet.  And I still felt guilty for eating it! It was delicious, but a part of me felt guilty and couldn't enjoy it.  I also ate a piece of fudge at Dollywood on Saturday. I told myself walking around is okay. Being active all week walking around made it okay.  I'm waiting on the day I don't have to justify a treat with exercise.  One day it will come.  Until then, I'll wait.  

I had a week of many meals out.  I hate dining out.  I still do.  Between trying to eat healthy, having gluten and lactose issues, and the anxiety that still comes with analyzing menus, I hate it! Restaurants are a typical meet up spot, so you can eat & catch up.  For me, it's stressful, for me it's difficult.  Being with friends helps. But it doesn't always make it go completely away.  I ate healthy and limited myself to just two treats on vacation. 

I think about that and stress and still feel a little guilty.  But overall it's progress! I ate a treat, actually 2! And that's something I would not have done this time last year! Not without running for a few hours anyway.  Still some work, but as a friend reminded me this week, baby steps! I need to fuel my body so that I can properly function. At my sickest I couldn't do that! 

If I'm being honest, I also skipped a meal to eat the fried snickers.  Again, NOT okay.  I know that! I know that is something I have to work on, but a positive is that I'm making baby steps forward, that I know what I have to keep working on.  I'll get there one day.  Until then it's one day at a time! 

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