The Breakup
Sometimes the people we are with or the the things we are part of aren't always good for us. I have finally decided that if I'm going to get better I have to breakup with one of the very things that has fed and continues to feed it.
Today I'm breaking up with Beachbody! For some of you this will come as a surprise, for others it is a long timing coming and you are thankful! Why am I breaking up with Beachbody? For all the reasons. Most importantly that I developed many of my bad thoughts through them. I was told you can't eat certain foods, they are bad for you. I listened and cut them out, and for the very first time in a long time, after slowly breaking away I'm enjoying a few of those foods again. Other foods, not quite yet.
For those of you who don't know, I got really sick back in the spring. I was so sick, my blood sugar registered as low on a meter for hours! This was even after I ate and checked in the appropriate two hours later! It registered low for at least 6 hours if not longer. I was following a Beachbody meal and workout plan. When I talked to their nutritionist about it, they asked me how I brought it up. I tell them almond butter and grapes. And they told me to be careful about adding almond butter because it would cause me to go up a bracket in the meal plan. Last I checked my health came first. That's what opened my eyes for the first time.
Posting in groups provided accountability, but it also provided the ability to compare myself to others. I don't look like this person so I have to work that much harder, I have to skip this meal, or lose some macros so that I can look like that. Or it became I need to work harder, I'm not working hard enough, even though I was.
I finally had to quit posting for a while and it helped tremendously. However, when I started again, those thoughts and bad habits came back. There are others things that have happened as well, that further confirmed that I need to breakup. If something isn't good for me, I have to let it go. If something is hurting me, it needs to go. I will still workout, when I'm able and cleared. I'll still eat healthy and continue to be the healthiest version of me I can be. But that means that I'm taking active steps to fight some of the very things that have led me to bad behaviors. I'm eating things others said I couldn't have. I'm drinking enough water now, but not too much, like I was before, and so much more!
I'll add that I did make a few amazing friends and I'm forever thankful for them! However, with friends also comes the knowledge that some people were only there when I was part of that group, when it meant more money or more. That part hurt. It still stings a little to know I fell for the MLM scheme. But it happens, that's life. You pick yourself up and learn from those mistakes.
Today I'm breaking up with something that has hurt me in so many ways and while I made all my own choices, some of the messages I received from them, some of the groups, etc. whether it was meant or not, all fed into my eating disorder. If I am going to properly recover, I have to do this on my terms, and breakup with them! No more going backwards at least this way!
This won't solve all my problems, but it will help with some of them! It's hard because this represents so much of my time, my energy, and my life for the last few years. It hurts because a part of them helped me, it hurts because I can't help but feel like a part of me wasted my time, that a part o fm should've done things so much differently. Isn't that what breakups are all about?
I'm making progress, I'm saying goodbye to something that became a negative impact in my life! Goodbye Beachbody!
Today I'm breaking up with Beachbody! For some of you this will come as a surprise, for others it is a long timing coming and you are thankful! Why am I breaking up with Beachbody? For all the reasons. Most importantly that I developed many of my bad thoughts through them. I was told you can't eat certain foods, they are bad for you. I listened and cut them out, and for the very first time in a long time, after slowly breaking away I'm enjoying a few of those foods again. Other foods, not quite yet.
For those of you who don't know, I got really sick back in the spring. I was so sick, my blood sugar registered as low on a meter for hours! This was even after I ate and checked in the appropriate two hours later! It registered low for at least 6 hours if not longer. I was following a Beachbody meal and workout plan. When I talked to their nutritionist about it, they asked me how I brought it up. I tell them almond butter and grapes. And they told me to be careful about adding almond butter because it would cause me to go up a bracket in the meal plan. Last I checked my health came first. That's what opened my eyes for the first time.
Posting in groups provided accountability, but it also provided the ability to compare myself to others. I don't look like this person so I have to work that much harder, I have to skip this meal, or lose some macros so that I can look like that. Or it became I need to work harder, I'm not working hard enough, even though I was.
I finally had to quit posting for a while and it helped tremendously. However, when I started again, those thoughts and bad habits came back. There are others things that have happened as well, that further confirmed that I need to breakup. If something isn't good for me, I have to let it go. If something is hurting me, it needs to go. I will still workout, when I'm able and cleared. I'll still eat healthy and continue to be the healthiest version of me I can be. But that means that I'm taking active steps to fight some of the very things that have led me to bad behaviors. I'm eating things others said I couldn't have. I'm drinking enough water now, but not too much, like I was before, and so much more!
I'll add that I did make a few amazing friends and I'm forever thankful for them! However, with friends also comes the knowledge that some people were only there when I was part of that group, when it meant more money or more. That part hurt. It still stings a little to know I fell for the MLM scheme. But it happens, that's life. You pick yourself up and learn from those mistakes.
Today I'm breaking up with something that has hurt me in so many ways and while I made all my own choices, some of the messages I received from them, some of the groups, etc. whether it was meant or not, all fed into my eating disorder. If I am going to properly recover, I have to do this on my terms, and breakup with them! No more going backwards at least this way!
This won't solve all my problems, but it will help with some of them! It's hard because this represents so much of my time, my energy, and my life for the last few years. It hurts because a part of them helped me, it hurts because I can't help but feel like a part of me wasted my time, that a part o fm should've done things so much differently. Isn't that what breakups are all about?
I'm making progress, I'm saying goodbye to something that became a negative impact in my life! Goodbye Beachbody!
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