Setback or Progress?

I continually remind myself that this is a journey.  Any journey will be full of ups and downs.  I always knew this wouldn't be easy.  But if I'm being honest, I'll admit that I didn't realize just how hard some of the moments would be.  

Overall, I've done my best not to skip any meals and eat enough.  But I have to make sure I'm not eating too much either.  I have continued my healthy eating but making sure I eat enough.  For the most part I know what I can and can't eat so I don't look at nutrition facts too closely unless it's a new food or for a new recipe.  If anything, I'll try to just look at the ingredient list to make sure it's safe for me.  However, no matter how hard I try looking at the nutrition facts happens sometimes.  I had found a healthy snack option to use instead of my usual. I misunderstood the serving size and had been eating too much.  Before everyone panics, know that it was a lot of carbs.  I mean way way  more than I should have in a snack or add to a meal.  In that instant, I panicked.  In that instant, I went what seemed like 1,000 steps back.  One of my biggest fears of the recovery process came true. I had been eating too much.  That's exactly why I try to look at nutrition facts and know what I'm eating.  I'll eat too much and I know it.  And not on purpose. Old me would have skipped meals when I found out.  

As upset as I was, as frustrated as I was, I have made progress.  I've realized I just have to change the portion size.  I have realized that it's healthy and I can still have it.  Just not eating as much as I was.  I might not have eaten the best once I realized it, but I still ate something. So I didn't completely skip a meal, but didn't eat enough.  Still not a win, or the right decision, but not a complete loss.  

Progress looks different to different people.  I'll always have to look at ingredient list.  I have to make sure everything I eat is safe.  I have to know there isn't any gluten and there isn't any lactose. A label on the front isn't always enough.  It's about learning balance. It's about not being afraid to eat.  I'll get there.  For now it's one day at a time.  One meal at a time and it will be for a very long time! 

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